The Kyrie File's Unedited Pre-Recorded Midterm Election Night Special: American Reboot 2018

ELECTION NIGHT

Genre: Comedy, news satire, talk show 

Created by: Brian Robbins
Presented by: Kwame "Kyrie" Alexander
Starring:

- Gracie Dzienny

- Noah Munck

- Teala Dunn

- Tyrel Jackson Williams

- Lia Marie Johnson
- Nolan Ammon

Opening theme: “Mystery” by I.Z.C.E.

Country of origin: United States

Original language(s): English

No. of season: 3

No. of episode: Special

Production

Executive producer(s):

- Brian Robbins

- Jeff Hodsden

- Shauna Phelan

- Joe Davola

Producer(s): Don Dunn

Location(s):

Burbank Studios

Burbank, California

Running time: 57 Minutes

Production Company(s):

AwesomenessTV

(DreamWorks Animation)

Release

Original network: Netflix

Picture format: 1080p (HDTV)

Original release: November 9, 2018

S3, Special Directed by: Adam Weissman Written by: Tim Pollock, Bo Belanger & Kwame Alexander

Title: The Kyrie File’s Unedited Pre-Recorded Midterm Election Night Special: American Reboot 2018

Original release date: November 9, 2018 Production code: 213

In the 1-hour special, Kyrie and his news team are covering the 2018 Midterms on Election Night, handing out real time results and analysis from different states in America. Plus, Kyrie discusses some of the key issues, races, and candidates surround the elections, and also interviews Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Democratic candidate for New York's 14th House District, via satellite. She talks about her campaign for the Democratic nomination, the reason why she chose to run at such a young age, and what winning the House seat as the youngest woman ever elected into Congress has meant to her and for other women.

Highlights from the Elections:

- People have called this Election the most important Midterms in history and as we've tonight, those people are right, we have seen everything this Election Season from record breaking number of candidates and early voting. 222 Non-White Candidates are running in the House, Senate and Governor Races, meaning that could be no longer looking at a congress that is Whiteface for far too long. A black-ish congress is good enough because ABC is pitching its next Black-ish spin-off Scandal-ish.

- 276 Female Candidates are running tonight and these and if all of the were to win then it's Time Up for the Men and if the number of Male Candidates goes any higher, then tomorrow we'll all be waking in the morning to the hashtag #CountMeInToo. One other record breaking number we are looking is 25 Openly LGBTQ Candidates and all of which Democrats, of course the LGBTQ community is a very key issue for the election. Ashley Lunkenheimer is campaigning for fifth congressional district in Pennsylvania, Gina Ortiz Jones is running for the 23rd district in Texas, both of them are Democrat and asked the question if they think voters are ready for them, well we re're ready for the first non-white President and look how that turned out.

- Their opponents asked them previously in the primaries if they were going to make it clear to voters that they are lesbian so the truth would not be revealed in a GOP "attack" ad and I could very well see how that would turn out for we have seen a lot of campaign attacks ads from Republicans who seemed to very desperate to keep Gays and Lesbians out of Congress, but get the feeling with the way Mitch McConnell, he is totally gay. "Hey Chris, you wanna look after the Midterms/" Imagine that in McConnell's voice. But to be on the flip side, LGBTQ advocates have genereally quoted that "If you're not at the table, then you;re not on the menu," and that means that if LGBTQ people are not elected in office, then they are more in endangered as you can imagine. But tonight we're looking at them to pull up a seat at the most coveted tables in D.C.: the U.S. Congress and Donald Trump's Thanksgiving Table, but I bet he wouldn't even show up not wanting to have gays forcing on him like a man biting another man's ear off.

- Another key issues in the Elections is immigration, and Trump has made a big case out of this one as he trying whatever he can to stop brown people from crossing the southern border and smashing him with his own pumpkinhead. The impact of immigration policy has taken its toll on people this year,  mostly in the labor market and the only jobs immigrants can applied to  these days are at an alien-themed restaurant in Roswell, New Mexico. "E.T. take your order, Please?" Economists say that immigrants comprise large portions of the agriculture, construction and hospitality industries, while other say that Trump's crackdown on legal and illegal immigration is what's keeping America from making bold moves to fix the issues the right way. But for Trump, the right way to keep illegal immigrants out of the country would be to bring family separation and lock up little children in cages, or make the giant wall that he promised to build completely out of electric bared wire, and I am not trying to put any crazy ideas into his his head but I can very well seeing him do that.

- Then there are the issues involving money, both parties have spend an enormous amount on their campaigns and their victory songs, which reminds if the Democrats win the House of Representatives, then we will play a version of "Everybody" by the Backstreet Boys, which is named "Dems Back in the House!" The point is, determining how much the Dems and GOP spend could determine who will be in control of which chamber after tonight. Voter have been very cautious about certain trade wars and they do not believe that they are  the bets way to find compromise, much less common ground for a person's job, so it looks like those people are mostly likely to move to Roswell and get a job at the Alien-themed restaurant where the only thing they serve is tax cuts.

- That's another big issues with the Elections, rather than run on the current tax bill that was passed from last year, Republicans are looking to convince to try out a new one that hardly even exists, and with all the bills the Republicans have failed to passed, they go off the the bill graveyard where the grim reaper send their souls down Davy Jones' shredder. You're probably asking "Kyrie, what do the Grim Reaper and Davy Jones have to do with anything?" Simple, they've been waiting to slay any voters who support the GOP Tax Bill, although if voters are in support of the GOP Healthcare plan, they're most likely going in the shredder.

- Healthcare, by the way, is on of the most dire topics of the Midterms and Democrats have made it a top a priority of their campaigns. According to a survey back in September, 75% of voters believe that Heathcars is very very important important to them and their vote, kinda like how your iphone is very very important to you cannot put it down or even take it out of their hands, it's like when Matilda glued her father's hat to his head and the results of that left in need of some health insurance. Healthcare and pharmaceutical analysts say that they are anticipating that the Democrats will win the House of Representatives and Republicans will hold on to the Senate, and the could lead to any big policy changes being prevented, that includes repeal of the Affordable Care Act, big cuts to Medicaid, and bigger cuts in those nice juicy lollipops your doctor give after each checkup. "Uh, I'm sorry Timmy, I'm all out of lollipops, but here's something more interesting; the bill to your checkup!" and Timmy's all like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

- But in all seriousness, it;s much more easy to go to the results to figure how has the game plans of both parties have played out in their favor. First, we can confirm and officially project..........that Fox News has projected that the Democrats have won the United States House of Representatives. I have been calling Fox News "Trump News" ever since he was sworn into office, and if things continue to play out for House Democrats, then may have to pay attention to Fox News a little more, but watch out for Sean Hannity, I hear he's in a BAAAAAADDD Place right now. Female candidates just as we thought are leading the charge of the Democrats' House gain, in Kansas' 3rd House District, Sharice Davids defeated Kevin Yoder 53% to 44%, and in New Mexico's 1st House District, Debra Haaland won by 58%, both are the first two Native-American women elected into Congress, so move Elizabeth Warren, we've got two ladies running for Pocahontas, but I hear the lead role as Sacagawea is still up for grabs.

- America elected the First Female Muslims into Congress with Ilhan Omar winning in a landslide by 78% in Minnesota's 5th House District, dido for Rashida Tlaib who won by 85% in Michigan's 13th House District, good luck try get these two out of the country Trump, oh that's right, fat chance on that one. Move on to the Senate,  Incumbents Sherrod Brown and Elizabeth Warren will remain Senators of Ohio and Massachusetts, Kristen Gillibrand, Chris Murphy, Bob Casey, Thomas Carper, and Amy Klobuchar are all still Senators in New York, Connecticut,, Pennsylvania, Delaware and Minnesota, so while it's not all a GIANT BLUE WAVE, Democrats are still leaving leaving their mark on the map much like as Blue from Blue's Clues leaves her pawprints everyone in most of the house. "Hey Blue, you see a clue?" Blue's reponse: "BOW BOW!", and we're all "Yay, there's a clue on the wedge of cheese!" That means that with 55% to 44% over Republican Leah Vukmir, Tammy Baldwin is till the Senator of Wisconsin.

- Elsewhere, that there a couple of races that are either too close to call are have suffered the "Fast & Furious" effect, That means that when a underdog like Paul Walker looks to be in the lead, the Incumbent or a Vin Diesel-esque character swoops in and pulls a last minute victory, and that's is want we have seen with the Senate Race in Texas and Governor Race in Florida. Just when it looked like Beta O'Rourke and Andrew Gillum would win those races for the Democrats, Ted Cruz has come in at the last second with 51% to 48%, enough for the GOP to keep the Texas Senator, and if your Ted Cruz, your probably looking back their your opponents saying "See ya Buster," when the reality is you're the real buster with the face that only Ebony Maw could love. #GetLostSquidward!

- As for the Florida Governorship, Ron DeSantis is the apparent winner of that race after Gillum conceded in what looked like his race to win, though at his concession speech, he was all "Dude, I almost had him!" and DeSantis responded with "You Almost Had Me?! You never had me, you never had your car.........or the popular vote!" But I'll tell you which Democrats have which Republicans, it's too close to call for the Florida Senate between Rick Scott and Incumbent Bill Nelson, but if it goes to a recount and Scott loses, Trump is gonna bite his bald head off like She-Venom biting off that bald dude's head. That's RIGHT, SPOILER ALERT: Michelle Williams  is SHE-VENOM in Tom Hardy's awful-not-awful Venom movie. While on the subject of Scotts, Incumbent Governor Scott Walker has lost to Democrat Tony Evers 49% to 48%, that means another wedge of cheese with a pawprint on it! BOW BOW! 

- Georgia's Governor race looks to be headed towards a stand-off by the Oprah-endorsed Democrat Stacey Abrams and the Overconfident Brain Kemp, they're calling it too close to call with Kemp leading 50% to Abrams' 48%, the latter of course is not conceding until officials count the absentee ballots and voter that came in late. If this goes to a runoff election and Abrams wins, then get this woman a part to play in "Black Panther 2" "We're Abrams FOREVER!", and I say this because most Marvel films are produced in Atlanta, Georgia, but despite the studio's previous threats to leave due to whatever the outcome in the Governor race will be, but maybe  now they are getting second thoughts.

- The Elections in Arizona have been up and down, Democrat Ann Kirkpatrick gain a house seat for her respective party and won the state's 2nd House District 53% to 46% over Lea Marquez Peterson, the Gonvership stays with Republican Doug Ducey, and it's too close to call between Martha McSally (R) and Kyrsten Sinema (D) for the Arizona Senate. But in North Dakota, Kevin Cramer has a Senate seat for the GOP by beating Incumbent Heidi Heitkamp, and that would more than likely give Republicans the majority they need to keep control of the Senate. Mitt Romney won the Utah Senate every Jenny Wilson, Marsha Blackburn helped the GOP win the Tennessee Senate, and Mike Braun pulled off a shocker when he beat Incumbent Joe Donnelly in the Senate race for Indiana. So when you look at these wins, you can feel that Trump is not all mad about losing the House, with the Senate he can still nominated whoever he wants in the supreme court, but even they can't save his tax returns and his other dirty little secrets from getting out by Democrats. 

- That has been the main goal for Democrats taking back the House, so they can launch multiple investigations on Trump in hopes of having him impeach. Maybe these House Democrats can help in the long haul: Sean Casten defeats Incumbent Republican Peter Roskam in Illinois' 6th District, the winner of Florida's 26th district is Debbie Mucarsel-Powell in a close race with Carlos Curbelo, and finally in New York, the state's 19th district goes to Democrat Antonio Delgado whom was also in a close race with Incumbent Republican  John Faso. So that's three House gains for the Dems, but the biggest House victory of the night for them comes in the form of a late-20-year-old Jane the Virgin, that is if she has ever even shared a kiss with anyone, with 78% reporting, we can project that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will not only be the U.S. House Representative of the New York's 14th district, but she will also be the youngest woman ever elected into Congress, and it just goes to show that Steve from Blue's Clues was right all along. "You know, with me and you and my dog Blue, We can do anything that we wanna do".............even run for Congress!

Closing Statement

- That's our show, congratulations to the Democrats for winning the House, High Hopes for them in both Senate and the White House come 2020, and before we go, here's one last result: Democrat Jared Polis defeated Republican Walker Stapleton 51% to 44% in order to capture the Governorship in Colorado. We can also report that he will be the first openly gay Governor to be elected in U.S. History. So with that said, from me to you Democrats, a Victory song for "EVERYBODY!", here are the Backstreet Boys with "Dems Back in the House!"

Backstreet Boys - "Dems Back in the House" (Lyrics)

Everybody
Rock the Vote, Hey
Everybody
The GOP SUCKS!
Dems Back In the House!
Hey, yeah, oh

Oh My God, They're Back Again
Blue Wave, No Way, Everybody sing
Gonna end the Donald, ain't no doubt 
Gotta question for 'em better answer now, yeah

Will you get THINGS MOVIN' ?
Yeah
Work with Republicans?
Nah
Are you Sexual?
Yeah
Will you win back the White House?
We better rock the vote right now!

Everybody, Yeah)
Rock the Vote, Hey, Yeah
Everybody
The GOP SUCKS!
Dems Back In the House!
Oh right!

Now throw your hands up in the air
Wave 'em around like your just don't care
If you wanna party let me hear you yell
'Cause you've got the House to Impeach Trump

Will you get THINGS MOVIN' ?
Yeah
Work with Republicans?
Nah
Are you Sexual?
Yeah
Will you win back the White House?
We better rock the vote right now!

Everybody, Yeah
Rock the Vote, Hey, Yeah
Everybody
The GOP SUCKS!
Dems Back In the House!
Oh right!

To everybody, everywhere
You weren't afraid, you had no fear
You made your voices heard, made 'em understand
As long as we keep votinging, Dems will fight for us Again!

Everybody, Yeah
Rock the Vote, Hey, Yeah
Everybody
The GOP SUCKS! (THE GOP SUCKS!)

Dems Back In
Everybody (Everybody), Yeah (Rock the Vote, Hey)
Rock the Vote, Hey (Everybody), Yeah (Everybody Rock the Vote, Say)
Everybody (GOP SUCKS)
The GOP SUCKS! (GOP SUCKS!)
DEMS BACK IN THE HOUSE!

Backstreet Boys - Everybody Official Instrumental

THE END

Special guest appearance by: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (via Satellite)

Note: The special was taped on Election Night (November 6th) and was released on Netflix three days later on November 9th.